For years -- I have gone to Val's house once a week for "TV night". We usually watch American Idol, Big Love, etc. In May, the night before I left on my long Seattle/Minneapolis trip -- I arrived at Val's house as per usual....and was shocked to see that she had CUT HER HAIR. She had a brand new VERY short hairdo....
She said, “I’ve struggled all my life to make my unruly bushy hair behave. Because men like long hair -- I’ve spent a fortune having it straightened and colored and ironed. Well, I’m done worrying about magical, men-magnet-hair. I’m finished with men. I mean it. Every single guy I’ve dated in the last 25 years has been nothing but a disappointment. They’re all jerks. I’ve decided I’m going to be a lesbian. So from now on…I don’t have to worry about my hair because I’m done with men forever. I’m going to be a lesbian without the sex…”
I laughed. Like I always do. The next day, I left town. Because of two time zones, bad cellphone reception, and a busy trade show -- we didn't talk for a week. That's a long time for us. I was looking forward to a catch-up. Sitting on a bench in downtown Minneapolis -- I punched Val’s number into my Blackberry…
When she answered the phone, she squealed, “OH MY GOD! FINALLY! I’ve been dying to talk to you! I’m in love!!! Michael is amazing. We connected on Facebook -- and we talk on the phone for at least six hours every day…I’m moving to Florida in three weeks to marry him. ”
The Blackberry didn’t seem to fit in my hand anymore…I held it away and looked at the little screen…. I didn’t speak for a long time…
Then, putting it back up to my ear, I said, “who are you and what have you done with my lesbian friend, Valerie?”
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Val is, indeed, on her way to Florida....I'll keep you posted...
Too funny!
ReplyDeleteYou know, almost every nice guy I know is married or dating a girl with short hair. Even a young guy friend, who has a different girl every week, seems to date mostly girls with shorter hair. Hmmmm.
Laura in Puyallup