An update

 First of all -- thank you all for your emails, phone calls, and good thoughts. 

I wish I had something good to report...but I am feeling defeated....

I found a nice place for John -- the Memory Care at Jersey Ridge Place. I wrote the check for $8.155.00...and the boys helped me move some furniture into his room there.  He has a Lazy boy, the duct tape swivel chair Lilly decorated, his own bed and dresser.  He has a window looking out on a sweet courtyard -- and the kids took a hummingbird feeder to hang outside his window.

 He moved in on Friday, April 23....I was so hopeful.

But things are not going well.

Sunday night, Ross got a call at 11:30 -- John had fallen in the bathroom.  Apparently, he'd been there for hours...and he was soaked in urine...his clothes were wet, the bed was wet...and he had a scrape on the top of his head from the fall.  (which probably happened around 8:00).

Monday, Ross had a conversation with the nurse in charge of things...and made the point that the fall was not the problem. The sea of pee was the issue...and completely unacceptable.  That woman indicated to me that John may not fit into their facility...his roaming during the night makes him unmanageable...ugh...

Tuesday,  I took Frank for his grooming -- and picked up a breakfast sandwich at my favorite gas station.  That afternoon, I was with John at JRP...when I started to feel sick.

 I had food poisoning.  And for the next two days, I was sicker than I've ever been in my life.  I don't know how to describe it...but my stomach was cramped and I was screaming in pain.  I called my sister Deena, and she googled food poisoning...she brought some Sprite (for the carbonation) -- and I laid on my stomach while she massaged my kidneys. I had a fever, and was sweating like a pig..

That's all I'm going to say about it...the rest is just as disgusting as you can imagine.  My brother Cal has gone in to visit with John the last two days, because I can't go.  Ross is with him every night, and gets him ready for bed.

But, last night, Ross got another call from the Memory Care...John had taken off his clothes, (except for his Depends) and wandered across the common area into another woman's room...

UGH...I'm pretty sure they're going to kick him out...and I have nooo idea what I'm going to do next. 

Mostly, I can't think straight because I just can't stop crying...

BIG Changes this week...

John is in the hospital. Again.

Saturday morning, he was agitated, confused and unable to speak.  He was banging off the walls, when he fell and I called 911. Again. 

It's been a shockingly rapid decline...and, for right now, John can't come home. 

So, this week, I'll be touring Memory Care units.  There are some excellent choices in the area, and I am grateful. 

When I visited him on Sunday -- John didn't know me.  As heartbreaking as that was  -- the silver lining is that he didn't even ask to come home with me. 

Anyway...it's a lot.  

My Friendship Quilt

WE'VE ALL HAD OUR VACCINATIONS...!! So, the five of us are tip-toeing back into our normal TMBC life...hopefully...except it's gotta be lunch instead of breakfast...because I have a Keeper coming to the house...and I'm still new at this!!

For our first "back to normal" weekly -- we met up for TacoTuesday ($1 tacos!! Brilliant, eh?)...and, since it's kinda in the parking lot of the Bettendorf Suites --(where LP and I will be moving in the Fall) -- we took the girls up for a little "tour".

I was packing my Friendship Quilt -- so everybody could get a closer look...

Me, Linda K., Jackie, Sandy and Linda P. -- in the demo kitchen of the Bettendorf Suites.

They got to see where their blocks ended up...

My sister Deena did a Farm block...and she put the quilt together.

Sandy made the perfect sewing machine block...(we ALL have Featherweights)

Rhonda Pierce made a t-shirt block...can you see the word "Ritaluck"

OH, YES, it was so good to get together. We've missed us...

My Re-Upholstery DREAM...

To review -- I bought this fabulous area RUG...and it is the inspiration for our new home!! I painted my beloved vintage buffet to MATCH this rug...and I'm loving everything about it.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the rug.

My favorite Lazy-boy was probably 20 years old when I bought it (I paid $40)...the color is great, but there are some rips in the faux-leather...

And this swivel chair ($10) is pretty comfortable.  The duct-tape treatment was fun for awhile -- but it also could use a new upholstery job...

So, of course, you heard my BIG IDEA...I'll order five or six swatches of various fabrics -- turquoise, hot pink, orange...and then, I'll have somebody reupholster my favorite chairs, using different colors -- the side one color, the back another color...you know....we'll "Rita-fy" these chairs. 

I was following a local upholsterer on Facebook -- and I sent her a few pictures. 

 Here's the price, people....with ME providing the fabric....

The swivel tub chair would be $550...

The Lazy boy would be $750.....

I texted back..."you are a dream crusher..."

Throwback Tuesday...

I'd just like to say -- NOBODY IS MORE DISAPPOINTED THAN ME when I don't have a fresh post on this blog early in the morning...

Frankly, I don't have much I want to write about at this moment in time. 

April 2021 is kinda problematic...

And that thought prompted me to look back -- at other April's. How about this one...April 2012.  Wow.  9 years ago...I decided to take a look back to 

EASTER -- 2012..... 

Three things wrong with this picture:  PINK, DRESS and DOLL...as it turns out, all of that was just Grandma Rita's wishful thinking...

Lilly was a quiet, shy little girl.

My niece Amy can ROCK A HAT.

For a few years -- when Ross and Elliott both lived away from home -- we went to my niece Nicole's house for Easter dinner (and Amy's for Thanksgiving)...

John's pants were a size 40.  Now he wears a 36...He is much thinner nowadays.

Special Garlic Mashed Potatoes

My blogging might be a little hit and miss this week.  There's a lot going on...

This winter, Ross has been coming to our house for supper one night during the week. I look forward to his visits -- and, as it happens, that's often the only meal I actually COOK during the whole week. It's fun to plan a menu (when you RARELY do it)...and I try to mix it up for him.

One week, I made homemade chicken tenders...with panko crumbs...

Salad, scalloped corn and garlic mashed potatoes.

Those potatoes were CRAZY DELICIOUS...

I cooked them, mashed in the usual way -- with some cream cheese, butter...finished them off with some parsley and cherry tomatoes -- then I put them under the broiler for a few minutes.

 

Modge Podged Sewing Machine TOTE

This project started with a couple of very different things...

First of all -- Mary made my favorite apron (at our SEW retreat) out of IKEA fabric.  I LOVE IT...and wear it all the time...it makes me very happy.  I had enough of the fabric to make two more aprons -- but I was down to bits and pieces...which I COULD NOT THROW AWAY...

Then, I found this wonderful HUGE sewing machine rolling tote at a thrift store ($8)....But it is kinda boring...plain black....that will NEVER do...

I painted all sides with Mod Podge -- and let it dry for a coupla days.  Then, I got Lilly involved.  She fussy cut some pieces of the fabric -- and mod podged them on to the tote...

When all the sides were decorated -- I applied two more coats of Mod Podge.

I had enough of the fabric to do the top of the tote...but for the sides, Lilly applied all the fussy cut pieces...

There were some bubbles -- but now I KNOW THE FIX...poke them with a pin, use parchment paper and a hot iron.

Yes...IT'S AMAZING....

The Peterson Mansion

My first official DAY OFF was on Friday, April 2nd. Comfort Keepers sent a lovely young woman to our house -- and her mission was to hang out with John all day. YIKES...I AM DELIGHTED...

So -- how did I spend this precious time? I went out for breakfast with my friend Valerie -- and then we toured some senior housing options for her.

Val currently rents a house in west Davenport. The Marycrest Senior Campus is in her general area.  Before it was developed into senior apartments, it was Marycrest College -- and Val graduated from there. Maybe this is perfect for her next chapter.

It was my job to walk up the steps into the "rental office".  I left Val in the car...and, much to my surprise, I entered a 19th century mansion -- with INCREDIBLE ORIGINAL DETAILS...

The Peterson family (owners of Peterson Harned Von Maur Department stores) built this mansion (in 1888) on a hill overlooking the Mississippi River.

In 1937, the Catholic church acquired the property (mansion and 8 acres) to locate their new women's college.

The millwork in this house is amazing...14 ft. tall ceilings.

The dining room buffet...!!

Tiffany chandeliers and the original plaster medallions...(I convinced the property manager to give me a little private tour...)

Val was waiting in the car...I was very taken with the details of all the fireplaces.  EVERYTHING WAS ORIGINAL...untouched...

That's a light on top of the newel post. It is always lit, cuz  nobody knows how to turn it off...

At some point, I thought I should go back to the car...

BUT this felt like a once-in-a-lifetime private tour!!  Of a mansion I didn't even know existed...in all it's original 1888 glory...

The bathrooms were penny tile and carrara marble...probably an early 20th century addition -- but still impressive...

Val didn't find her dream home that day -- but I CERTAINLY DID. Getting a private tour of the Peterson mansion was a completely unexpected thrilling bonus...

2021 Easter Report

I knew this would be our last Easter in this house. That's heartbreaking...or bittersweet...sad any way you look at it.  But I decided this was one of those pivotal moments -- you know the ones -- where you MAKE THE BEST of the situation. Instead of being sad about the changes coming down the pike...I wanted to celebrate what is good in my world right this minute.

And, of course, the biggest joy in my life is Lilly and Warren. And they LOVE a good scavenger hunt. 

I started doing Easter Scavenger Hunts for Ross and Elliott when they were growing up....and I wanted this year to be memorable. Warren had ten stations...with rhymes for clues...and he RIPPED through his hunt. 

The day before Easter -- the kids came to do Easter crafts.....Warren tried the color-your-eggs-using-shaving cream.  EPIC FAIL...

I had a dozen boiled eggs for each of them...and they experimented with various methods...

I spent six hours putting their scavenger hunts together.  Lilly (who is 12 going on 30) is almost too cool for a scavenger hunt...so I decided to make hers a bit more challenging...

Do you know how difficult it is to come up with ten actual riddles?? Oh, yes -- I CRACK MYSELF UP...

Here are the answers...(Laura got them all right)...

1. Toilet paper
2. Hanger
3. Phone or doorbell
4. Chair
5. Clock
6. Rug
7. Towel
8. Microwave
9. bath/shower
10. Printer

I had the clues all written up, and ten little Easter wrapped packages. Lilly laid out Warren's hunt...(they got here early -- so he did his before we ate).

It was 75 degrees -- so we had our first official Porch Party...A huge baked ham with pineapple and glaze, potato salad, Jeanne's green salad, homemade rolls and coconut custard pie...

After we ate -- Warren and his Mom set up Lilly's treasure hunt...

Honestly -- both kids ripped through their 10 clues in minutes. At each station, Warren found his wrapped Easter gift -- dropped it on the ground as he ran off to solve the next clue...He didn't even bother to unwrap his gifts.

And, when he realized Lilly's was RIDDLES -- he said, "I WANT RIDDLES, TOO, GRANDMA..."

Not this year, kid...not this year...

John's March Update: The VA

In March, John saw a neurologist, who diagnosed him as "late stage Alzheimer's".  The Dr. wanted to do another "battery" of tests.  But I did not see the point...the diagnosis seems pretty clear at this point...and there is no treatment, drug or surgery that's going to make a difference.  

It is what it is.

I got John signed up for the V.A. -- and that's been a WONDERFUL thing.  I would like to thank everybody who encouraged me to SIGN UP FOR THE VA...you were sooo right.

AND -- if you are married to a veteran -- here are a few things you should know.

I discovered there are different levels of entitlement.  For example, if a vet was a prisoner of war -- that's the Golden Ticket.  The VA will pay for his/her hospitalizations, medications, hearing aids, glasses, memory care unit, whatever the vet needs -- for no cost whatsoever.  The VA will even pay their spouse a monthly stipend (up to $1500) to be his "caregiver". 

Also, if a veteran is disabled because of his service -- of course, many things are covered, regardless of his financial need.

But, for most run-of-the-mill...I-served-my-country-but-came-home-fine veterans (like John) -- the  benefits he's entitled to are mostly calculated according to his financial need.

And I get that.

But, that being said -- I was happy to discover that the VA provides free "durable medical goods" for ALL veterans, regardless of their income.  That would include, for example -- a wheelchair, a walker, hospital bed or shower stool...and....wait for it...drumroll -- DEPENDS!! (we already received our first shipment!)

After filling out a lot of forms, finding his DD-214, and having three different tele-conferences -- I wasn't expecting much beyond the regular Depends delivery. (which I am VERY grateful for).

SO IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when I got a phone call from the Iowa City V.A. -- telling me they've determined that John is eligible for 11 hours a week of "home health aide" care...(I believe I will have to pay a $30 co-pay).

OMG...OMG...OMG...I cried when I hung up the phone.  

I'd already contacted the local Comfort Keepers franchise, and Friday, April 2, was the first day I was going to have somebody come to the house.   I'd agreed to private pay -- $27/hour -- to get one day off a week.  

NOW THE VA IS COMING TO MY RESCUE...and I can get 4.5 hours on Tuesday -- and 6.5 hours on Friday.

I AM THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD...

When the woman from the VA gave me this news, I started to cry...and she said, "please tell your husband he earned these benefits, hon.  We're happy to give you a break -- so you can continue to take care of our veteran..."

John: The March Update

A month ago, I was excited about the possibility of Jane's Place -- the adult daycare in Davenport.

I got John enrolled -- and he went on March 17th....the first day they have been open since Covid...

I took him at 9:30, and picked him up at 4:00. I was euphoric!! I planned a lunch with friends...it was a GREAT DAY.

But John hated it...and maybe I made that first day too long...

To give the place a fair chance, I took John back on Friday -- when I thought there might be more people, and I could take him a little later and pick him up a little earlier.... His second day went MUCH BETTER. John got on the exercycle, and he was engaged in a rousing game of Bingo when I got there to pick him up.

But -- the next week -- when I tried to take him for the third time -- he had a meltdown. He did everything but throw himself down on the floor and kick his feet...So, after three strikes, I had to admit daycare wasn't going to work out. Not at this point, anyway.

In my journal, I wrote, "I don't cry every day now..."

And, in many ways, that was the biggest development this month. I arrived at that place... "acceptance"...and that's a good thing. Because it is what it is. And I'll do my best...

March 2021 was tough on many levels. 

John can't dress himself in the morning. Although he is wearing Depends every day now, he doesn't really understand how they work...(I do draw the line on how much I'm willing to share)... 

 One morning, he was being very uncooperative about getting dressed, and refusing to shower...so I left his clothes on the bed and went out to the kitchen to make coffee. Ten minutes later, I went back into the bedroom -- and he had managed to put on his jeans. 

 But, instead of the t-shirt I had laid out, he had pulled the clean Depends over his head...he had one arm through a leg hole...he was STUCK...and it was all I could do not to grab my cellphone and take a picture... 

 So, even on the real bad days -- there are those funny moments... But mostly, John simply does not connect any more...with me or anybody else. He gets quieter and quieter...and he sleeps more and more.

2021 Easter RIDDLE Treasure Hunt

I'm pooped. EASTER was a lot of work...and I might be able to blog about it...but not now. Cuz...like I said...pooped...Here's why... 

Knowing this was our last Easter in this house, I wanted it to be perfect. You know -- GIANT ham dinner with all the fixings...and two AMAZING scavenger hunts for Lilly and Warren. 

Lilly is 12 years old now...and WAY beyond a simple treasure hunt.  I decided to make her hunt a little more challenging... so her clues were actually riddles....

 See how many you can figure out...

Lilly’s 2021 Easter RIDDLE Treasure Hunt

1.      On sheet, two sheets, three sheets or four -- some use less and some use more. What am I?

2.      When I put on my clothes, it takes off it’s clothes.  What is it?

3.      What has a ring, but no finger?

4.      What has arms and legs, but no head?

5.      I have a face that doesn’t frown, I have hands that do not wave, and I have no mouth.  I have a familiar sound, and I don’t walk, but I move around.  What am I?

6.      I don’t go out and play.  I just stay home all day.  I’m nice you might agree..but mostly your feet just rub on me?

7.      The more I dry, the wetter I become?

8.      I have a sound that goes beep, and though time I do keep -- my main function is to heat.

9.      Some take me in the morning, others take me at night...but one thing you should know is when I’m “taken”- I don’t really go anywhere.

10.   I have a plug, but no bath.  I have ink, but no pen.  I have paper, but no news.  And I have a cable, but no tv.  What am I?

BEST GIFT EVER..!!

YES -- I AM STILL WRITING ABOUT MY PARTY....

And, YES -- I'm aware that it's been a week.

But -- hey -- IT'S MY PARTY AND I'LL BLOG IF I WANT TO....

After Anne's slide show -- Kelcy presented me with a package.  She jokingly told me it was "Rita Wrap" -- which meant they used newspaper...

Inside the newspaper wrapping -- was a really fancy wrapping...

OMG...OMG...OMG...It's a Friendship Quilt!!

Every person in the room had contributed a block to my very special, wonderful quilt.

There was a special "gift tag" block on the back of the quilt.

The center block is a beautiful "LOVE" embroidery, by my sister Deborah Enderson -- who came all the way from Tennessee!!

Deena was the one who assembled the quilt...her daughter Kelcy gave it to me...and her daughter Myla served as our Vanna White during the slide show...

My Aunt Adda (91) was at my party -- which meant we had FOUR GENERATIONS represented!!

 

In the entire world-wide history of surprise parties, nobody has ever been MORE SURPRISED than I was last Saturday. And that certainly added to the joy of the day. 

But -- this gift -- this fabulous friendship quilt...with blocks made by the special women friends of my heart...I honestly cannot imagine a more wonderful gift.

Not only will I treasure it FOREVER...I'm now planning an entire room around it!!

Yes...I am a lucky, lucky girl...and I know it...