Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Lilly and Grandma HIKING

Okay, there's always MORE to a story, right? I sometimes call this the "Paul Harvey Version"...where I open up and tell the REST of the story.

When I wrote about our Blue Heron boat ride,  it sounded charming and perfect. AND every word I wrote was true...

But I did leave something out...

It was a beautiful night, cool and breezy...there weren't even any mosquitoes.
There were 22 people on the boat.  After about 30 minutes, the Captain drove us into a cul-de-sac, which is a working sand mine...(who knew, eh?)
Our Captain had a wacky sense of humor...as he was speeding towards the shoreline, I looked back to see if he KNEW he was headed right into the land.  He pretended to be distracted, but before I worked up the nerve to shout a warning, the boat drove into the sandy shore and stopped with a big THUD.  Of course, he knew what he was doing every minute -- it was just his way of providing a little entertainment.  (Turns out, he had a boat load of sheep...nobody said a word about what could have been our pending doom.)

After he got a little chuckle from the spirited landing, he told us this cul-de-sac was a working sand mine. We were on a beach, looking up at a sandy hill with some grass on the top.  To get there would involve a 12 foot climb up that hill.  The Captain promised interesting souvenirs, maybe shells or driftwood...or even a lizard...

Most of the passengers continued to sit quietly. Nobody seemed to expect a hike that night...

However, three young men from the local group home were thrilled to get off the boat.  Lillian jumped up and was right behind them.  I said, "You're going to hike up there?"   She turned and made a circular motion with her hand..."Yes...and I need a PARENT..."

Bert laughed and said, "that seems like your job, Grandma."
I tried to take a picture from half-way up the hill... there are 15 people left on that boat...

Of course, I followed Lilly off the boat....or, I tried to.  Because of the sand, I decided to go barefoot.  But it was quite a steep incline, and my feet kept slipping down in the sand.  Jesus...I'm too fat for this...It was a very slow go...two steps up and three steps down...

Lilly was maybe five feet ahead of me -- and her flip-flops were causing her problems.  Her feet kept slipping off her shoes...

The ground was full of sand burs, and me going bare foot was a terrible decision....

Lilly was trying to crab her way up the sandy hill on all fours...holding on to some spindly weeds...but she was stuck.  At first, she calmly said,  "help me.  somebody please help me."  Then, with some urgency -- GRANDMA -- HELP ME..."

I could hear the people in the boat laughing at us...we must have been a sight.  It was embarrassing.

Clearly, neither one of us was in any danger...it was a pitiful little hill. But the problem was that I WAS FROZEN IN POSITION...slipping down the hill...in a crabbing position -- with my ass stuck up in the air...right below Lilly.

When I got off the boat, I picked up a walking stick, but my feet kept slipping in the sand, and I couldn't make any forward progress...

In an effort to help her -- I said, "Here, Lilly" -- and valiantly tossed my walking stick up to her side.

She turned her head and looked down at me.  With a glaring look and a haughty tone she asked "what am I supposed to do with that?"

You should have heard the people on the boat. They were SO ENTERTAINED...ugh...

FINALLY -- after a colossal struggle -- we both managed to get to the top of the little hill.  (we BOTH used the walking stick).  SUCCESS.   EUREKA.  YIPPEE KAYEE...
When we arrived at our destination -- the top of the hill -- it was quite a disappointment. Nothing but weeds and sand burrs.

I wonder if this is what it feels like when those climbers get to the top of Mt. Everest.

We did not find even one interesting shell or rock, much less a lizard (which I believe Captain Jack totally made up anyway)

Maybe the lesson is that the journey is always the interesting part. Actually arriving at your destination is generally quite a let-down...

Think day-after-Christmas...

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