American Idol

Okay -- here's my take on last night's American Idol.

Last year, the Elton John night was actually painful to watch. Apparently, Elton John writes this music FOR HIMSELF....And it just doesn't work for other singers.

So -- why are we doing it again this year? When Naima performed "I'm Still Standing" with a Reggae twist -- I called my friend Val and said, "No, she's not". (standing, that is) Really. It was awful. Her rendition of that song was so bad, I think Elton John will be filing a law suit...

The whole night was sort of a miss for me. But I did enjoy Paul's elaborately embroidered suit. It's like going back in time -- he's Porter Wagner -- looking or his Dolly...

I thought James Durban was amazing...and I thought having the piano start on fire was a nice touch.

I also thought Casey proved himself WORTHY of last week's judge's save. But really -- LOSE THE BEARD. It makes you look like a middle-aged rabbi. For crying out loud -- you are 20 years old!! Why do you insist on the old-man masquerade?? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE shave that beard and lose the Olde Spice, Casey...

At the end of two hours -- I think Niama and Thia are going home. but, Stephano also tried to get his homeward bound ticket punched. I used to be a fan -- but last night, I could not understand a word he sang...and that is NEVER a good sign...

The person I really want to vote off the island is Randy Jackson. The last song of the night was Haley singing "Bennie and the Jets" -- and Randy called it "the best performance of the night".

Really, Randy? Better than Pia? Better than James? Jacob? Casey?

What could be clouding your judgment, dawg?? Oh...that's right....I forgot...YOU DON'T HAVE ANY. Randy has never made a single notable comment in all the years he's been on American Idol. Most of the time, I'm convinced he isn't even listening to the singing because he's too busy thinking about how he can do more name dropping...telling us about a record he produced with Mariah or Whitney 20 years ago...

As per usual, Randy brings NOTHING to the show. Maybe it's time for him to focus on his MTV Dance Crew show.

WHAT NUMBER CAN I CALL???