Friday, July 1, 2011

Val's Primary Caretaker -- Plan B

So, after six days in the hospital, Val is home and her fiance, Michael, is going to take care of her.

It's the perfect plan...

Except that, on the first day, Michael took a nap in the bedroom, and Val, immobile in her new chair in the living room -- had to pee. And she absolutely could not wake him up. She broke the clanger in the bell...he wasn't answering his cellphone...and screaming didn't work...she was at her wit's end...

Going to Plan B -- Val called me on my cellphone and 30 minutes later, I arrived at her house and helped her GO TO THE BATHROOM.

At that point, Val was frustrated and hungry -- so I suggested we eat first (I had fresh chicken dinners from Riefe's). Afterwards, I would back to the bedroom to wake Michael up.

Val: What if he's dead?
Me: That's all the more reason we should eat first. In my experience, it is not possible to enjoy a meal one you know for sure there's a dead body in the house.
Val: you're right -- I'll have white meat...

The next day, I delivered a baby monitor. Genius, eh??

Well, not so much. The monitor isn't loud enough -- and Michael clearly isn't getting enough sleep at night -- then, during the day, his naps turn into comas.

My son Ross had the best idea yet. Here's Val's ace-in-the-hole...

Ross suggested one of those electric shock-collars...the kind you use to train your dogs...

OH MY GOD. I'm telling you...I am still laughing...

1 comment:

  1. Sue in MilwaukeeJuly 1, 2011 at 8:32 AM

    OMG!! How funny and at the same time not...Michael needs to nap near enough that Val can poke him with a long handled fork!! Poor thing!

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