Twisted Double Axel

Lillian loves her little zebra sofa and footstool. The week after Emily got home with Warren -- she was so busy -- she asked if I could come help out. I had completely forgotten HOW MUCH WORK a newborn baby can be.

Elliott started his new gun business at the exact wrong moment in time -- and there are people coming into the house at all hours...it was CRAZY. Emily is trying to do all the government paperwork, run the chargecards...there are customers in the basement, Emily is down there, helping to load ammo...I'm upstairs, hoping the baby doesn't wake up from his nap, trying to cook some food, entertain a toddler...the phone is ringing off the wall...YIKES...

I got caught up in the rushing...and in a moment of complete inattention -- I tripped over the adorable little foam footstool. OH MY GOD...I AM GOING DOWN...I CAN'T BELIEVE IT...MY LEGS HAVE COMPLETELY GONE OUT FROM UNDER ME...THERE'S NO STOPPING IT....I AM GOING TO HIT THE CORNER OF THEIR HEAVY WOODEN COFFEE TABLE...

In the middle of my fall -- I tried to twist my body to miss the coffee table. Imagine a fat girl flying sideways through the air, doing an awkward twisted double axel.  I missed the coffee table -- but landed HARD on my side. Every ounce, every pound of me slammed down on the hardwood floor....Oh My God I'm too fat.... I was pretty sure I broke my arm...maybe I had a concussion or a subdural hematoma...the wind was completely knocked out of my lungs...and I was instantly crying...



As I was going down, I heard Lillian exclaim, "Silly Grandma!"

When I didn't get up -- she came over to where I was laying on the floor and said, "Are you okay?"

Gulping air, I gasped, "I don't think so, honey. You need to get your Mommy."

She put her angelic little face really close to mine and in a quiet voice, said,  "Grandma, the reason you came here today is because my Mommy is busy...REMEMBER?"

Oh. That's right. For just a minute, I forgot...maybe because of the blow to my head...

I went from crying to laughing...and after a few more minutes, I was able to get up. Luckily, nothing was broken.