Friday, February 18, 2011

TLC stands for?

Okay -- about television. We already established the fact that I watch WAY MORE THAN YOU DO...

Actually -- it's one of the few areas of my life where I can honestly say I consider myself an expert.

So -- WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH TLC?? This network used to be "The Learning Channel". They focused on how-to programming. They had wildlife documentaries...

Then, along came Jon & Kate Plus Eight...

I watched every episode. AND I fell in love with the "Little People". Matt and Amy Roloff (little people) and their family -- living in Oregon. Then I got hooked on the Duggars -- raising their 20 kids in Arkansas...

Somewhere along the way -- TLC programming took a big left turn. They decided to do "reality" television. Put cameras into the homes of unusual families and then edit 40 hours of boring (yet cheap to produce) video down to 1 hour.

The Little People were interesting at first -- but then they started to take a lot of expensive, pointless trips...the same thing happened with Jon & Kate. You could almost see the guys in the "planning room" at TLC -- having a meeting, trying to decide where they could send the family for some interesting footage...

But that wasn't enough.

Now -- TLC has a series about "hoarders". And a "SERIES" about women who did NOT KNOW THEY WERE PREGNANT. Like that isn't wacko enough -- their latest series is all about people who have "strange addictions". One woman eats toilet paper, another eats laundry detergent...

But -- wait -- they just keep sinking.... They have a show called "Toddlers & Tiaras" -- all about little girls at beauty pageants. The mothers are always fat and unkempt -- and their toddlers are wearing fake tans, fake teeth, fake hair, and a ton of make-up -- all while doing a stripper dance number for their "talent".

In order to GET the kids to do what they want, the fat moms keep giving them "pixie sticks" -- sour sugar candy in straws (that won't mess up their make-up).

Oh, yes, the irony is not lost on me. TLC has sunk so low because, obviously -- PEOPLE LIKE ME WATCH THE PROGRAMMING.

So I am actually the problem...I get that.

My friend Valerie (who would watch just as much television as me -- but her arthritis medication makes her sleeps too much)...says that nowadays "TLC" stands for "The LAME Channel"...


  1. Yep they caught me on the lame-o shows too. I have to DVR some that are on when I'm watching my Hawaii 5-O and Batchelor on Monday nights. Amazing Race starts on Sunday! Are you watching?
    My favorite part of the newpaper is the TV log. Whatever did we do without the DVR? I still have to set it for while I'm at EXPO...

  2. Rita,
    I burst out laughing reading your blog today-- as I can relate. That Toddlers and Tiaras program sadly demonstrates that these mothers are making miniature divas that are going to be even more unbearable to deal with when they are adults.

    That Strange Addictions program has got to be the most bizarre, disturbing program I have ever watched if for only a few minutes. Toilet paper, tanning beds, glass, kitchen cleansers are among the few episodes I have only glimpsed.

    Makes me very proud I'm only addicted to my beloved Java Chip frappuccinos at Starbucks.

    Denise Holguin

  3. Thanks for being so honest, Mary & Denise! I KNEW I couldn't be the only one should be proud, Denise. I only WISH I had a Starbucks in my town!!

  4. But I LOVE hoarders, because it makes me realize that my Mom was WRONG! People can, apparently, survive in total FILTH!! - TONS of total filth!!

  5. I love them, too. Watching that show makes me feel like Martha Stewart...

  6. I enjoy Hoarders too-- between each commercial break I pull out my Clorox Clean-up and zap the dirt away. Recently I was so afraid I was going to turn into a hoarder, I pulled the refrigerator away from the wall so I could clean the floor underneath. That show inspires me to clean, clean, clean!
    Denise Holguin

  7. OMG I am a closet Hoarders fan... well not so much anymore, right? My mom always said with 8 kids in the house it was clean enough to be healthy but dirty enough to be happy. That's my philosophy. I want to see a reality show about those people whose homes are so clean you're not allowed to exhale in them!

    It just goes to show we'll watch anything. However, for bizarre reality TV Japan has us nearly matched if not beaten.