Smartphone Withdrawals/flipphone

IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY to live without my smartphone.  If phones were cars, my smartphone was a Cadillac.  However -- without the data plan, and no need for a SMART phone, I knew I'd be trading "down" when I got my new non-smart phone.  To a Chevrolet, perhaps??

Or a sturdy Toyota?

As it happens, phone companies don't want to sell anything BUT smartphones nowadays...so there were only 4 "non-smart" phone models to choose from.  It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, we've been talking about it for weeks...and I sent John to Verizon to close the deal.  He came home and handed me this....

A flip phone??

What car is comparable to a flip phone?  A Studebaker?

Seriously?  I have to go all the way back to a flip phone?  Okay...I can do this.  I am determined....there is a principle involved here...

Before the battery was even fully charged -- I received a text message -- and after much consternation, and trying to read the worthless little manual...I was SHOCKED and dismayed when I realized I had to use the number keys to hammer out:  each. letter. of. the. alphabet.

WHAT THE HELL???

In the last two years...TEXTING has become a very big part of my life.  But I was always able to talk my texts into my smartphone.  I have never had to hit the numbers key to get to each individual letter of the alphabet.  OMG....

Oh, yikes.  WHAT WAS I THINKING??....I get 100 texts a week....

I had my new flip phone in my hands for exactly 20 minutes when Ross walked through the living room and I pretty much wailed, "I can't do this."...

He started to laugh so hard...he said, "gheesh, Mom?  20 minutes? That's your best effort?   Really?   You're saying you can't do something every pre-pubescent girl in America mastered a decade ago?"

Crap.  What was I thinking....?  I was sooo sanctimonious and full of myself...

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My family and friends are taking bets on how long I'll last....