Project Runway Finale

SEASON 14 of Project Runway COMPLETELY, TOTALLY SUCKED.  I was so upset by the way it ended, I had to blog about soup for ONE WHOLE WEEK...

But the Finale aired a week ago -- so, without the fear of spoiling the end for it's ten remaining fans -- here we go...

OH MY GOD.  The Finale was a crime on so many levels.  If the Fashion Police was real -- they would be issuing warrants and arrests would be made.

Just in case you don't know how it turned out -- and you care (highly doubtful at this point) -- do not read on...I'm about to rant a bit...

As a fat woman, I was delighted the show had a plus-size designer this year. But, although Ashley had some early success, it became clear that her skills were very limited. As the season wore on, the judges seemed determined to make the "WE EMBRACE FAT GIRLS" their mission for Season #14.

Even though Ashley had NO CLEAR IDEA how to fit her own body. She wore a version of this skirt every single week. Her sleeves were always too tight...she had absolutely no clue how to dress HERSELF. But Project Runway was determined that she was going to be THE DESIGNER for the fat women of America!! 

Her own clothes were always, always terrible...

BUT -- when she decided to make her entire collection about "Plus Size Women" -- things went from bad to worse-than-I-ever-imagined crappy.

Her final "collection" should be named, "No fat girl would be caught dead". EVERY SINGLE GARMENT WAS AN ABOMINATION.

She made three HUGE, unforgivable mistakes...

Her first mistake was the color palette. Really?? PINK?? Easter egg pastels??

Second mistake -- fabric choice. LACE?? The itchy, cheap kind. Ugh.

Third mistake -- POOR FIT. Not a single garment fit the model.

Fourth mistake -- SLEEVELESS, Ashley? Really? I notice we never saw your upper arms during the season!!

Fifth mistake -- HALTER TOPS?? Oh, c'mon, people...ARE YOU FRICKING KIDDING ME??

Yeah, I was wrong about the three big mistakes. I could go on and on...it was ridiculous that the judges didn't call her out on any of this shapeless garbage.

And -- TALK ABOUT A TASTE LEVEL?? Really, Zac?? You're going to gig Candace about one dramatic black hat -- but not say a word about the cheezy FAKE FLOWER CARMEN MIRANDA CROWNS that Ashley kept pushing down the runway??

At some point, I was yelling at the television screen. Ashley did a terrible, terrible job and her finished clothes were ridiculous, unflattering at best and cartoonish at worst.

This was Ashley's "Plus Size Collection". SEE THROUGH LACE?

Although it would be very difficult for me to pick the WORST outfit in Ashley's collection -- the pink shorts with the riding up crotch (second from the right) would certainly be a front runner. Believe it or not -- that shorts outfit, made out of the stiff cheap fabric, with the midriff cutout is actually a jumpsuit with a center back zipper.  Clearly, going to the bathroom would be OUT OF THE QUESTION.  WTF??  

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse...Her big finale garment came out.  Cheap shiny polyester -- with glued on fake flowers. AND ANOTHER HALTER TOP...Seriously, I was laughing and screaming at the same time...my throat hurt the next day...

The judges loved Ashley -- and nobody had one harsh word to say about her collection. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

Heidi, Zac, Nina -- your credibility is gone. You were more concerned with being politically correct than providing us with a decent fashion/design show. Shame on you. As a lifelong fat woman, I am insulted and feeling EXTREMELY patronized.

As punishment, Heidi should be forced to wear Ashley's purple fruit salad finale garment to the next Met Ball...and Nina should have to wear a fake flower/fruit crown in her next Marie Claire bio shot...

Shame on you, Project Runway.  WE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER...