NZ Letter: Cousins' Porch Party

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November 3, 2017

Dear Nancy,

I swear, I am not a man-hater...who only sees what they do WRONG. I love John, and I wouldn’t have the life I have today if I hadn’t married him.

But, when any man enters the room, he has a complete expectation that he will naturally become the center of attention...and all conversation shifts to him.  IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME.

And it's just a hard thing to deal with...even when you see it coming.

Way back in the 1990's, I was having a “Cousin’s Party” on my porch.  Linda had recently moved back to Iowa after 20 years....Jackie was home for a rare visit...My sisters were here, including Deb, who lived in Florida at the time.  In our adult lives, we have NEVER been together like this.  We had lunch, and were drinking some wine coolers (remember those?).  We were laughing, and talking...and getting caught up on each other's lives.  One person could hardly finish a thought before the next person was off on a different tangent.  It was late in the afternoon, and we were hungry again, so I’d just put some snacks out on the table -- when John came home from golf.

I knew EXACTLY what was going to happen next. John would come out on the porch to say hello -- and one of my sister/cousins would politely ask “how are you?” -- AND HE WOULD SIT DOWN AND START TO TELL US ALL ABOUT HIS GOLF GAME. We’d hear about how he birdied the 4^th hole...then, his partner made a 12’ putt on the 9^th hole...they finished 4^th ....but the tournament only paid the first 3 places...OMG. My girls would get quieter and quieter....and the entire rhythm of our fabulous, rare day together would go down the drain.  They'd start to look at their watches... and make excuses to leave...

Because I didn’t want it to be over...and who knew when we'd be together again (it has actually NEVER happened)...when John started walking to the house, I whispered.... ”everybody follow my lead....”

John came out on the porch, and, with a big smile on his face, said, “this looks like quite a hen party”...

Of course, they all said hello and smiled...and John took another step...as though he was going to join us...

At that exact moment, I said, “yes, we’ve been busy catching up...turns out three of us are going through menopause -- and we were just comparing hot flash stories.“

John stopped in his tracks...looking confused...

Then, I turned to my sister and said, “so, Ronda -- you quit using tampons? Have you really gone back to using Kotex pads?”

Before Ronda could even react, John had turned his back to RUN UP THE STAIRS to escape to his den...

We were laughing so hard....we could not breathe...for awhile...

But then, the party went on until late that night. We finished the taco chips and guacamole, and took a break to run into Princeton to pick up a pizza. I shudder when I think of how close we came to NOT having that long-overdue catch-up.

 

Sometimes, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do...

Love,
rita
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I often sent some random photos of Nancy -- with people she knew...(I didn't have a picture of that long-ago porch Cousins' party)...

Rhonda Pierce, me, Nancy and Deanna Springer...(Quilt Market?)