Christmas Programs

This post is for those of you who were not invited to attend any elementary school holiday events this season. Feeling left out?  Well -- be careful what you pray for...

Here's what you missed...

First of all -- there is NEVER ANY PARKING.  Every elementary age child brings SEVEN adults to their program (that really is a statistic -- parents, grandparents and siblings). By the time I got to Lilly's Christmas program, every spot in the school parking lot was taken, and people were parked on the streets for a two block radius.

I "made my own spot" by parking right alongside the building, 20 feet from the front door (where the school buses usually line up).  Before I even got out of my car, there were six cars parked behind me.  (sometimes, Ritaluck needs a little help).

The gym is jam packed...

I positioned myself so Lilly would see me (taking this picture) when she walked into the gym. This is how you get FULL Grandma points.  (you don't get any credit if the kid doesn't see you)...

Lilly loves to sing, and knows every word to every song (that joy not evident in this photo)...

TWO DAYS LATER -- we are back in the same gym for Lilly's Holiday Dance Recital. The big change here is that the dance studio charges $3 admission. (Last summer, my friend Pat was visiting and I made her pay for both of us...)

What these two events have in common is the childrens' complete lack of musical accomplishment...

My Christmas pedicure. Candy cane and snowflake...red and green...It was such a mild December, I was still wearing flip flops. YIKES...

Of course, the first thing you do is look at the program to see how far down your child is...Sadly, Lilly was on PAGE TWO...

Because here's the deal. When you child is done -- YOU CAN LEAVE.  I used to think that was rude and tacky...but I now understand the early exits. These programs are long and boring...an hour feels like a week...and they insist every group do two or even three numbers. At the end of two hours, you seriously want to poke your eyeballs out...

If your child is done performing -- you no longer have any reason to stay.  You don't get any extra Grandma points...and nobody in that room will judge you.

After the first group of little ones got done "performing" -- 100 people got up and filed out of the gum...

So -- here's my idea.

Instead of charging $3 for every person who walks into the gym -- they should "auction off" the spots on the program. I think people would pay $100 to be able to LEAVE AFTER THE FIRST GROUP...

Let's do the math.  Four people in Lilly's group.  Seven guests per child -- that means 28 people paid $3 each.  So they made $84.  With my new method, they would have cleared $400.