First of all -- thank you all for your emails, phone calls, and good thoughts.
I wish I had something good to report...but I am feeling defeated....
I found a nice place for John -- the Memory Care at Jersey Ridge Place. I wrote the check for $8.155.00...and the boys helped me move some furniture into his room there. He has a Lazy boy, the duct tape swivel chair Lilly decorated, his own bed and dresser. He has a window looking out on a sweet courtyard -- and the kids took a hummingbird feeder to hang outside his window.
He moved in on Friday, April 23....I was so hopeful.
But things are not going well.
Sunday night, Ross got a call at 11:30 -- John had fallen in the bathroom. Apparently, he'd been there for hours...and he was soaked in urine...his clothes were wet, the bed was wet...and he had a scrape on the top of his head from the fall. (which probably happened around 8:00).
Monday, Ross had a conversation with the nurse in charge of things...and made the point that the fall was not the problem. The sea of pee was the issue...and completely unacceptable. That woman indicated to me that John may not fit into their facility...his roaming during the night makes him unmanageable...ugh...
Tuesday, I took Frank for his grooming -- and picked up a breakfast sandwich at my favorite gas station. That afternoon, I was with John at JRP...when I started to feel sick.
I had food poisoning. And for the next two days, I was sicker than I've ever been in my life. I don't know how to describe it...but my stomach was cramped and I was screaming in pain. I called my sister Deena, and she googled food poisoning...she brought some Sprite (for the carbonation) -- and I laid on my stomach while she massaged my kidneys. I had a fever, and was sweating like a pig..
That's all I'm going to say about it...the rest is just as disgusting as you can imagine. My brother Cal has gone in to visit with John the last two days, because I can't go. Ross is with him every night, and gets him ready for bed.
But, last night, Ross got another call from the Memory Care...John had taken off his clothes, (except for his Depends) and wandered across the common area into another woman's room...
UGH...I'm pretty sure they're going to kick him out...and I have nooo idea what I'm going to do next.
Mostly, I can't think straight because I just can't stop crying...
Rita, you are a very strong lady. I pray for you & John often. I think of you both often. My father, (whose name was also John) had Parkinson's & it was difficult to care for him 24 hours a day. It takes a toll. After several months my younger sister did send some others to help. She never personally helped. I tried to keep my dad at his home (and I did for months) but he fell & broke his upper leg & my sister sent him to hospice after the hospital released him. I was devastated. If I would've had any medical power of attorney or any rights over him, I would've tried to find somewhere to place him besides hospice. The VA, about an hour away, has a big "home". Dad always said if anything happened to him to send him there. My sister did not keep his wishes. Anyway, I will continue to pray for you as well as John. I sure hope you are feeling better from your tummy troubles. Please take care. God loves you & He is right with you. I love you too. Thank you for the update. 🦋🌻
ReplyDeleteOh Rita, my heart hurts for you. I hope you are feeling better from the food poisoning, it can be devastating, so be careful.
ReplyDeleteI truly believe when you need a solution one will be provided, have faith.
Sometimes having a mantra during stressful times is helpful. I have one written on a card in my purse. If I am feeling overwhelmed I get it out and read it to myself. It goes, “Out of this situation only good will come. This is easily resolved for the highest good of all concerned. All is well and I am safe.” Sometimes it takes me reading it repeatedly to get calmed down but it has helped me on several really difficult occasions. I hope that things improve for you soon. I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you and John and your family.
I am definitely borowing your mantra...I love it...
DeleteOh Rita, I pray things improve for you. I hope your food poisoning was reported, so no one else gets sick. Is there a way the memory care facility can do motion sensors, so they know when John gets up at night? Much love and hugs for you.
ReplyDeleteMy heart just aches for you, dear Rita. What a challenge, what a discouragement!! John's situation, I mean. Surely this place has different levels of memory care, and can move him to one where there is more supervision? That would be something to ask about anyway.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your food poisoning...as if you didn't have enough challenges in your life right now! I hope you or a family member reported it so that gas station can be checked out. Perhaps someone didn't see the pull date, and left it too long? Or the refrigerator went out and they didn't take care of the food that was in it? I know...relatively minor at this point, but others could get sick, too.
Our prayer group at church has been praying for you and John, and I just sent them an email with a brief update, so you are being covered in prayer from out here in the greater Seattle area!! (Snohomish County, mostly, which is north.)
Lots of hugs and love from me, Charlotte Trayer
Rita my thoughts and prayers are with you. Jolene S
ReplyDeleteI am so praying that trouble is behind you and the memory care unit will do their job of caring for John. Or have another level of care that he can obtain - hopefully without having to move all of his things yet again! I know in all of this how difficult it may be to take care of yourself but that is the best gift you can give to John and your family! Praying for you, John and your family!
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