Then, a few years ago, my word was PATIENCE. John's dementia was coming on,
and there were daily struggles. PATIENCE was what I needed...and having that
word in the center of my thinking...every single day...helped me to stop
arguing, walk away....to count to 10....to push the pause button....
Words save me. I am working hard to get to a new place...and the word I'm
trying to embrace and live is ACCEPTANCE...and this has been a challenge.
But it is what it is (remember -- I made a shower curtain with that
sentiment?)
John has Alzheimer's. It's a funny thing, because he can present as very
normal -- and he works hard to pretend he understands conversation, or
recognizes people. But, sometimes, he doesn't know how many children we have.
The other day, he was shocked to discover that President Kennedy was
shot....and he brushed his teeth with Neosporin.
He doesn't know who my sisters are...and claims he has never seen or met
Carrie (who has been my cleaning lady for 25 years).
If we are at a restaurant, I show him where the bathroom is, but he'll get
lost walking back to the table.
His friend Don takes him to breakfast every single week, but John cannot
remember his name...
But -- on the bright side -- John is in no pain. And he has been able (with
Cal's help) to work in the yard, burning brush and even mowing the grass. (Cal
has to start the mower).
And this is what I know for sure -- we are never going to have a better day
than this day.
Acceptance.
As always, you are in my thoughts, and I am always sending long-distance hugs.
ReplyDeleteGood for you Rita. You can only do what you can do. You're in my prayers, as is John and your family.
ReplyDeleteYes.... This ! <3 Big hugs dear lady.
ReplyDeleteSo true, Rita. You are handling all this with a great deal of grace and dignity (even though some days it may not feel like it) and, may I say, humor. I occasionally have some issues with my husband, too--not Alzheimer's but some cognitive impairment and frontal lobe partial seizures which can cause lapses. Most of the time, he does fairly well, but now and then I have to remind myself, it's the disease, not him....
ReplyDeleteAcceptance. You've got that right. You continue to be in my prayers.