A Holiday Blogging Break

On Tuesday, December 8, 2020, John got in his truck, intending to drive 6 miles to visit his friend. He ended up on I-80, 150 miles away from home.

That was the day I accepted the fact that John had Alzheimer's and taking care of him was now my full time job.

Fast forward to Wednesday, December 8, 2021...

On Tuesday (December 7), John spent the day singing karaoke with his friend Don. He went to bed at 4:30, completely whipped. He had a restless night (not unusual) -- and he woke up Wednesday with a bad case of heartburn. He was burping and spitting up phlegm. I figured he drank too much coffee during his Don Day...

I took him to the Express Care clinic. When we got there the Doctor said a heart attack can often present as indigestion -- so John should go to the Emergency Room -- just to be sure...

We spent the entire day in the E.R...and the tests came back fine. Temperature, oxygen levels, blood sugar - all okay.  His blood pressure was okay, his heart tests were fine, no sign of a stroke. I was reading a People magazine, and working on the crossword puzzle.  (we've been to this rodeo many times.)

John was very quiet...almost non-verbal.

Because the hospital has no available beds, I knew we would be sent home as soon as all the test results came back.  I was fine with that.

As the shift was changing (3:30 PM) -- the ER doctor ordered one last test -- a CT scan.

The doctor asked me to come out into the hall. He told me that John has cancer...everywhere. 

I was not expecting that.

Neither was the ER doctor.  He had already contacted our family doctor -- and they both agreed John would not be able to tolerate any kind of treatment. 

So -- everything has changed.   I'm trying to wrap my head around this new thing...

I'm postponing our move.  Indefinitely.  

I cried for two days...my eyes were swollen shut.  John is in hospice.  I told him he has cancer...maybe he understands...maybe not.  He's still pissed he can't drive a car...

I am so sad...There is a hospital bed in our living room...and the potty chair is about 6 feet away from the Christmas tree...

I'm taking a blogging break...

 

American Window Washing

In five weeks, we will be MOVING. I don't mean to sound like a broken record -- but DOWNSIZING IS SO MUCH HARD WORK. Ugh....

Looking back -- if I had known THEN what I know NOW -- I woulda just had a big fire...

You've been with me every step of the way, and I am just beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. FINALLY. Thanks to my brother, the property is looking better than it has for many years. I've made countless trips to the Goodwill store with bags full of stuff I once believed I could not live without...

The auctioneer is coming on Saturday to pick up a final load...and I'm starting to make a list of what furniture will be going with us to our new home.

One day, I noticed our gutters were choked with those horrible long needles from the white pine trees that border our house. Ugh. That's SUCH a problem.....

We were having some unseasonably mild weather -- so I called a local company -- the American Window Cleaning. They sent an estimator to my house, emailed a bid, and then scheduled the service.

The team arrived on time.

The bid included the garage -- I wish I had taken a before picture. This side was covered with green algae...from all those years of big, overgrown trees. An these gutters were also full of leaves and needles...

Because half of the house is two-stories, it's impossible to wash the exterior windows...

But these guys had some great equipment -- and a lot of ladders!

See all those 50' tall white pine trees?...40 years ago, planting them so close to the house seemed like an excellent "windbreak" idea...

AFTER they cleaned out the gutters, swept the roof and power washed the house, THEN they got busy washing (with a brush) the exterior windows.

I was on the inside -- taking a picture of them on the OUTSIDE...

This was my last gift to this house we built and have loved for four decades. She's never looked better! 

The American Window Company did a wonderful job, and their website gave me many choices. Every service had a "Good" "Better" and "Best" option. 

I chose to have them clean the gutters, sweep the roof, powerwash the house, and wash the exterior windows. Everything they did for the house, they also did for the garage. The young two-man crew came on time, and worked for 4+ hours... 

Total cost? $745

2021 Holiday Kick-off

WHAT HAPPENED TO 2021? How can this year be almost over?

Last year, Covid robbed us of a 2020 holiday season. All the events that we usually attended were canceled...and, then, too, John and I both had Covid during the holidays.

So, this year -- fingers crossed -- I was hoping for BETTER. But many events and venues simply haven't come back...So -- maybe it's not the BIG things that matter. Maybe this year, I have to appreciate the small moments...I need to make it about the little things...

Like -- decorating a Gingerbread barn!

Or, listening to Lilly practice for her first concert...

I was delighted that, with all her 7th Grade sophistication, she was still willing to construct a Gingerbread village...

And, no fancy office party for us -- but Rhonda and I DID manage to get together for a pre-holiday lunch at one of my favorite diners!! (she was traveling from Nebraska back to Chicago -- and I live right off I-80).

I took Warren to the Princeton Community Center to watch the Polar Express movie. I LOVE THAT MOVIE

So, like so many other things -- Christmas is what it is. And it ain't what it used to be...WHAT IS?? I am painfully aware that this will be our last year in this house...and I'm going to work hard to remember all the good holidays we had here...with my parents and my boys. Dinners I made for my Great Aunt Glad, Aunt Rozella, Uncle Melvin. Babysitting for my nieces and nephews...all the children I watched grow up while we were living in this house... And I am grateful. 

I will always remember the absolute joy of dressing a little girl in velvet holiday dresses...but THAT was then and THIS is now. 

 

Elizabeth Berg

Last week, John was having a bad night...I couldn't get him back in bed....he was slumped on the floor in the hall.  He was non-responsive and really out of it...he couldn't stand, and he couldn't talk.  He didn't seem to hear what I was saying.  I wondered if he'd had a stroke...or a heart attack....We've gone down the 911 route so many times.  My choices were kind of dismal...and after giving it a lot of thought, I decided to simply put a pillow under his head, cover him with a blanket and let him sleep in the hall.

But I worried that I was doing the wrong thing.  What if John was dying tonight?  That's what Alzheimer's is all about. It's a certain death sentence.  But it's a sad fading-away.  A very slow,  inexorable evaporation of the person they used to be.   

Of course, I COULDN'T sleep.  Some nights, you just can't sleep cuz of all the crying.....

So -- I decided to finish the book I was reading.  "Say When" by Elizabeth Berg.  One of my favorite authors...

 

At 3:00 in the morning...On the second to the last page of the book....I read...

 ...He thought of his mother, saying how, after her husband had died, she still listened for his car.  Griffin's father had had a heart attack in the middle of the night, and the day after the funeral Griffin had sat with his mother on the sofa in the living room, the blinds drawn, holding her hand as she wept without speaking for nearly an hour straight, the racking kind of sobs that hurt the observer nearly as much as the one weeping.  Then, abruptly, she had stopped.  She had blown her nose, signed hugely, and stood up.  She'd said, "I am going to lie down on my bed, under my blue satin quilt, for a day and a night.  Do not disturb me.  Do not ask me anything, and do not ask me for anything.  I'm going to remember every good thing I can think of about your father, and I am going to remember every bad thing.  And then I'm going to come down to the kitchen and make some eggs and fried potatoes, and start living what's left of my life."

*********

Wow.  She is SUCH a good writer...

Instructions for Niece-a-Palooa

Yesterday, I went to a coffee with the shareholders from our new place. Everybody at that table is working to DOWNSIZE...AND GET RID OF STUFF. So of course, I was bragging about my Niece-a-palooza...

One woman said, "where can we find the instructions?". I laughed and said I made it up myself...and she acted like I invented electricity or launched a rocket.

Even though I had this event in my head for months -- when it came right down to it -- I realized I needed to HAVE A PLAN. I thought about giving them monopoly money, and doing an auction...or playing games, and the winner got to choose...but actually playing games would take too much time...and if I auctioned all these things off, one by one, we'd be here for a week...

So -- here's how I did it -- and YOU CAN, TOO.

The secret was CATEGORIES:

• Art off my wall
• Linens from Mom's Hope Chest
• Large serving bowls.
• Sets of King Size sheets
• Microwave bowls for all of them
• Jewelry
• Sampler
• Spooner
• Christmas Coverlet
• Christmas rug
• Purse
• Totebag
• Blue bird knick-knack
• Large rolling suitcase
• Games
• Books
• etc...
  

 

Well -- you get the idea...anything I had THREE of earned itself a category...

Then, I wrote each category down...

Cut them up in strips -- like giant fortune-cookie wisdoms...

I folded them up, and put them all in a zebra container...

The girls took turns drawing out a category...and SHE got the first pick in that particular category...

The girls are choosing "Pitchers"...about to move on to a speed round of "Kitchen Utensils"

I'm sorry I didn't take more pictures...I guess I WAS HAVING TOO MUCH FUN..!!

 

This simple system worked GREAT.  Depending on which category was picked, the four of us would troop to that area.  Suitcases were in the root cellar...Mom's hope chest was upstairs...the art on the was alI over the house.  It was like a moving-scavenger-hunt.  

The day before my Niece-a-Palooza, I jokingly told Val  "Admission is free -- but the girls each must bring an empty pick-up truck..." 

As we were eating dinner (before the pick began) -- I went over the rules. They had to TAKE EVERYTHING THEY PICKED...but the minute it left my house, I didn't care what happened to it. They were free to use it (my hope, of course) -- or regift it or take it directly to the Goodwill. 

After four hours -- those three young women had to make multiple trips out to their vehicles, loading up giant suitcases and bags full of Aunt Rita Treasure...Ross came that night, and he helped Kelcy carry Mom's hope chest down from the upstairs bedroom where it's been living (undisturbed) for almost 20 years...

I've loved the job of AUNT.   And this night was really the culmination of so many wonderful events with these young women.  I'm blessed to be part of their lives.  On this night, I felt like I was passing the torch in so many ways...and the world is in good hands.

"Toasted" Breakfast

TMBC has made it our mission to try new breakfast places. And it is SO MUCH FUN to find a new restaurant or and old joint for our weekly get-togethers.

This week, we went to "Toasted" -- a new avante garde place in downtown Davenport.

The first good thing was I discovered they had a parking lot on the side of the building!

The decor was very trendy...a deep turquoise wallpaper, with gold decals on the wall.

Huge cotton napkins, with gold silverware.  right??

But, of course, the most important thing was the food!! Carrot pancake -- with Rosti!!

The sausages reminded me of New York City -- and the Avocado toast was a work of art!! SO DELICIOUS...

The front room was set up as more of a lounge.

The light fixtures were all amazing.

Linda bought this top, but it was too tight, the sleeves were too long, and the neckline was big and gappy.  I shortened the sleeves, modified the neckline...

And put a black insert in both sides.

These great pants cost $2. at a thrift store -- but they were too long.  I love that the pattern on each leg is so different.  Instead of hemming the bottom of the legs -- I turned the waistband one time -- and added a piece of elastic.  That shortened the pants just enough...

Microwave Bowls

John often gets up at 5:00 AM...and by the time I get out of bed (at a civilized 8:00) -- he's dressed and sitting in his chair...

He sits in his chair all day...dressed in his winter coat, hat, the whole works.  He is watching old Gunsmoke episodes...or sleeping...it's hard to tell the difference.

So, for the last coupla months, I've had my Featherweight table set up right next to the puzzle table.  THESE are the activities that get me through the day (and some long nights)....

I didn't take a good picture -- but you can see the puzzle underneath the flannel bowls...

The Featherweight table is snugged up right against the puzzle table...

And I just keep making the bowls...

 

I turned a laundry basket full of flannel pieces into a laundry basket full of microwave flannel bowls...

And now, the fun part will be to GIVE THEM ALL AWAY...

Obviously, "microwave flannel bowls" was a category!!

During the Niece-a-Palooza, the girls all got to choose a flannel bowl for everybody in their family. I started making flat flannel plates..for those occasions when a person wants to microwave food on a PLATE. So each of them got to pick one of those, too.

Valerie's New Home

Yesterday, I went to see Valerie's new apartment. OMG..OMG...OMG... Since a picture is worth a thousand words --  I'm just gonna post some pics:

It was once an elementary school -- completely remodeled, with 18 units BEAUTIFULLY done...

It's called the Naval Station -- and the woodwork in the front entrance is original and stunning.

They painstakingly restored the tile floors.

On all three floors, there are stunning common areas..the second floor is a television/living/conference area.

The third floor has a skylight.

AND a stage for events.

Val has her own washer/dryer.

Stainless appliances, granite countertops, dishwasher!! 

A HUGE living/dining room with 10' ceilings, porcelain tile floors, WONDERFUL light and a gas fireplace.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

She has a granite pass-through counter from the kitchen into the main room.

And her bedroom is HUGE...

 

The pictures don't do it justice. I didn't capture the wonderful light or the wide hallways, the curved plaster corners in every space, the cove ceilings,the security system, the elevators, the quality of the restoration and the attention to every detail. OMG...OMG...OMG...

This building is about 4 minutes from Valerie's old house. It's a neighborhood she is very familiar with...and you cannot wipe the smile off her face. 

I'm almost as excited about her new place as I am about my own!!  And I am thrilled that she'll have some community in this new home.  There are 18 other apartments, and it will be so good for Val to be able to meet people.

The Ales company did a spectacular renovation/restoration of this old historic building, and Val will have central air conditioning for the first time in her life.  

Honestly...her new home is PERFECT. 

My Niece-a-Palooza Report

So -- how was my Niece-A-Palooza??

IT WAS EPIC...

F.A.B.U. L.O.U.S....!!!  SQUARED...I cannot tell you how much I loved my time with my nieces.  

For one thing -- I rarely get to visit with these lovely young Moms.  When I do see them, they've invited me to their house for a party or holiday and they're busy serving food or organizing large groups of people....

So, this was a very rare event.  Like -- it's never actually happened before.

Of course, this occasion called for my best china and Aunt Rozella's silver...

I wanted our supper to be something my Mom used to make.  So, homemade chicken and noodles (with turkey, of course).

I haven't made noodles for years...(they were chewy...and kind of a disappointment.)

I did a popover demonstration (while they ate appetizers -- shrimp; potato chips and french onion dip)

 

They each got several wraps and/or ruanas...(I decided to rehome some of my Ya Ya samples)

Also -- beach towel WRAPS (remember that show, Mary?)

There was an artsy fartsy light fixture up for grabs...

AND, they emptied my mother's Hope Chest...then, Kelcy took it home so one day her daughter Myla can inherit it.

Another category was Christmas rugs...they all got to pick TWO rugs...

 

Amy, Nicole, me (with my new Judge Judy collar) and Kelcy.

In my mind, I have many pictures of these girls when they were kids.  Amy riding a little plastic tricycle on the sidewalk of our first rental house....taking Nicole to see Sarah Brightman singing at the Mark... eating sheets of caramel on top of microwave popcorn with Kelcy...and it all seems like just yesterday.

Looking back, I can see each one of them in New York City...and I am so grateful to have these young women in my life.  I am also really glad we did what we did when we did it.

And looking forward, I am beyond delighted they allowed me to re-home so much treasure!!  They took artwork and prints off my walls...so many things I've acquired, and touched, and loved....books I've read, things I've sewn, samples I've made...I hope some of these things fit into their lives.  And maybe -- years from now -- one of them will be making scrambled eggs, and she'll remember that spatula came from Aunt Rita's Niece-a-Palooza...