Panic Attack Kit

So -- what can John's caregivers do the next time he is having a panic attack?  I have no way of what might actually work...but it's not that hard to find things that could wake up his other senses...I tried to think about taste, smell, touch, sound...

I put together a kit...with various things that might be used to wake up a person's senses...

 

******************

While you are waiting for Rita to come, there are things in this kit you can use to help John.  Repeat every action, slowly, to the count of 10...

1.      The Party Blowers: Sit him in a chair and ask him to breathe deep...in through his nose and out through his mouth...THIS IS SO IMPORTANT....slow, deep, even breaths...count to ten...in through his nose, out through his mouth...

2.      Put a small dab of the camphor ointment at each nostril....breathe in through his nose, blow out through his mouth.

3.      Sit knee to knee...hold his hands...try to make eye contact...while repeating these words over and over...

”You will be fine, John....Rita is on her way....

“You will be fine, John....Rita is on her way....”

To engage John’s senses....use any of these items:

·        A sour sucker:  try to get John to lick the sucker.

·        Lotion: Rub it into John’s hands....

·        Facial spray:  spritz his face.

·        Bag of slime:  place it in his hands...

·        Stress balls: encourage him to squeeze them.

Keep repeating this mantra...while touching his hands...

“You will be fine, John....Rita is on her way....”

 “You will be fine, John....Rita is on her way....”

Repeat these actions and these words until Rita or Ross arrives.

 

IT'S NOT A HEART ATTACK!!

This is the first part of a notice I wrote for the caregivers in John's Memory Care Unit:

****************
John has been rushed to the hospital four times since December because he looked like he was having a heart attack.  He was not.  He was having panic attacks. 

A panic attack looks exactly like a heart attack....so it is an upsetting thing to witness.  But it will only last for 30-50 minutes....and he isn’t going to die.... 

PLEASE DO NOT CALL 911....

There are several warning signs that John is about to have a panic attack...

1.         His breathing becomes labored and gasping...and he is huffing for air.

2.         He becomes non-verbal...and he cannot understand words other people are saying.

3.         He starts to move in a manic way...literally bouncing off the walls...or maybe even falling.

4.         He is clutching his chest -- because he cannot breathe.

5.         His eyes are wide and wild --because he’s scared.

If John is having these symptoms --

Call Rita (529 _ _ _ _) (first) --

or Ross (370-_ _ _ _) (second). 

One of us will come to ASAP.  

************

So -- explaining to the staff what was happening to John was the first step...

The second part of this approach is to give them something TO DO for John...while they're waiting for me or Ross to arrive.  

When somebody is having a panic attack, they are experiencing real pain...their heart is pounding, and they cannot breathe.  In John's case, it's like his senses have shut down...he cannot hear what you're saying to him...or tell you what he's feeling...

So -- everything in my "Panic Attack Kit" is about trying to wake up John's other senses...

John's Progress

Thank you, Laura...I have your gift hanging in my car....

John is doing GREAT. And I'm not just saying that. I believe the biggest factor in his improvement has been that his doctor TOOK HIM OFF ALL THE DRUGS he's been taking for years. There were two diabetic oral medications, a high blood pressure pill, and a cholesterol pill. He stopped ALL OF THEM the day John went into the Memory Care Unit. John only gets one shot of long-lasting insulin at night, before he goes to bed.

AND that has made a world of difference. For several years, John has been having lots of bathroom issues -- and the simple fact is -- that's not happening now.

Don't get me wrong -- John still has Alzheimer's. He can't remember our wedding -- or how many kids we have -- or what he had for lunch two minutes ago. But his behavior is appropriate, and he's in a good mood most of the time. He knows who I am -- and he actually lights up when he sees me. The truth is -- he's like a teenager in love. He can't stop telling me how much he loves me...he wants to hold hands, and hug me and sit close together to watch television.

I go to the MCU every single day and spend several hours with him. We usually go out -- and the little trips have been going fine. Last week, we had lunch at the Olive Garden -- and he used a spoon to eat the soup (as opposed to the fork, which he had been doing). Ross comes every single day and spends several hours with him, too. The other day, they went to the Home Depot.

I took him to a Garden Center and we bought some plants for the garden at the MCU...

I took Frankie to visit one day.  There is a nice courtyard that John can access...it has a raised garden where he can plant things.

I take the kids -- and we play games. And have pizza delivered!

He has two of his own deer heads hanging in his room...

John is SO MUCH BETTER. When Elliott went to visit him last week, he said, "he was like Dad 2019"...and I had to laugh. That is EXACTLY what this feels like. 

So, I'm bringing him home.  There is no peace for me having him in Memory Care....I'll have some home health aides come to the house several days a week.  AND I'm installing a door at the base of our stairs so we won't have to argue about that in the middle of the night.

I've bought a new co-op in town...where we can "age in place".  John knows about that now.  We drive by the construction site almost every day.  Things will be much easier when we get moved (not until November)...

But, for now, I want John to have one last summer/fall in our Princeton home....and I'm looking forward to celebrating Father's Day on the porch.

The John Update

First of all -- thank you all for your concern, worry, prayers, phone calls and emails. I apologize for not being very responsive...some days, I don't even check my email. 

I've started to write this blog post at least 20 times....but I either end up crying...or whining....and I just didn't know how to tell this story.

John has been in the Jersey Ridge Place Memory Care for almost a month. He got off to a rocky start...but things have settled down. More or less. I go in every day and spend several hours with him -- and Ross goes in every evening, after supper. Ross stays for several hours, and he gets John ready for bed.

My brother Calvin picks him up for lunch once a week or so. I take the kids and Frankie in for visits now and then.

On May 3, I'd visited John in the afternoon -- and he seemed to be doing fine. I was back home when the phone rang at 4:30 PM...and it was the nurse at Jersey Ridge telling me they'd called 911 because John was clutching his chest, his sugar was high, he couldn't talk, and they thought he was having a heart attack.

By the time I got to the hospital, John was in an examining room -- and his eyes were wild. He was trying to climb off the table, and was pulling at all the cords and wires they had hooked up. He was non-verbal and it took two people to keep him on the table.

At some point, this all felt very familiar to me. I have called 911 THREE TIMES since December...every time, I thought John was having a heart attack....he was unable to talk, he was moving in an agitated way, clutching his chest.  All three times, he would fall -- I couldn't get him up...so I called 911.

But he was NEVER having a heart attack.

However -- in every case, the Emergency Room gave John a round of drugs to calm him down -- so they could do the necessary tests....

On this night, it suddenly dawned on me that maybe these DRUGS were having a very negative impact on John's brain...

Ugh.

I asked them to please NOT GIVE JOHN any drugs. Obviously, they didn't listen to me -- but, as it happened -- a more serious injury came in at that moment -- so they left me alone with John. Twice, I had to call for help to keep him from climbing off the table...but....

After about 40 minutes -- John's "episode" had passed. He was able to talk, and he was relaxed and happy...actually -- I took a picture at that point...

We stayed at the hospital for several hours so they could do (and then repeat) the test to make sure John was not having a heart attack.

But he was FINE...and he was hungry. I ordered a meatloaf dinner....and this is a picture of John, waiting for his supper....

Honestly -- he looks like he could be on a cruise ship....

John has Alzheimer's...and I'm not kidding myself. This is a long, difficult road we're on. 

But the good news is that I've finally figured out that John has been having panic attacks. And many of his problems have been exacerbated by repeated doses of Haldol, Ativan, Lorazepam, and a long list of psychotic pharmaceuticals he probably should NEVER have been given. 

The next time I write, it'll be about how to handle a panic attack without calling 911....

An update

 First of all -- thank you all for your emails, phone calls, and good thoughts. 

I wish I had something good to report...but I am feeling defeated....

I found a nice place for John -- the Memory Care at Jersey Ridge Place. I wrote the check for $8.155.00...and the boys helped me move some furniture into his room there.  He has a Lazy boy, the duct tape swivel chair Lilly decorated, his own bed and dresser.  He has a window looking out on a sweet courtyard -- and the kids took a hummingbird feeder to hang outside his window.

 He moved in on Friday, April 23....I was so hopeful.

But things are not going well.

Sunday night, Ross got a call at 11:30 -- John had fallen in the bathroom.  Apparently, he'd been there for hours...and he was soaked in urine...his clothes were wet, the bed was wet...and he had a scrape on the top of his head from the fall.  (which probably happened around 8:00).

Monday, Ross had a conversation with the nurse in charge of things...and made the point that the fall was not the problem. The sea of pee was the issue...and completely unacceptable.  That woman indicated to me that John may not fit into their facility...his roaming during the night makes him unmanageable...ugh...

Tuesday,  I took Frank for his grooming -- and picked up a breakfast sandwich at my favorite gas station.  That afternoon, I was with John at JRP...when I started to feel sick.

 I had food poisoning.  And for the next two days, I was sicker than I've ever been in my life.  I don't know how to describe it...but my stomach was cramped and I was screaming in pain.  I called my sister Deena, and she googled food poisoning...she brought some Sprite (for the carbonation) -- and I laid on my stomach while she massaged my kidneys. I had a fever, and was sweating like a pig..

That's all I'm going to say about it...the rest is just as disgusting as you can imagine.  My brother Cal has gone in to visit with John the last two days, because I can't go.  Ross is with him every night, and gets him ready for bed.

But, last night, Ross got another call from the Memory Care...John had taken off his clothes, (except for his Depends) and wandered across the common area into another woman's room...

UGH...I'm pretty sure they're going to kick him out...and I have nooo idea what I'm going to do next. 

Mostly, I can't think straight because I just can't stop crying...

BIG Changes this week...

John is in the hospital. Again.

Saturday morning, he was agitated, confused and unable to speak.  He was banging off the walls, when he fell and I called 911. Again. 

It's been a shockingly rapid decline...and, for right now, John can't come home. 

So, this week, I'll be touring Memory Care units.  There are some excellent choices in the area, and I am grateful. 

When I visited him on Sunday -- John didn't know me.  As heartbreaking as that was  -- the silver lining is that he didn't even ask to come home with me. 

Anyway...it's a lot.  

My Friendship Quilt

WE'VE ALL HAD OUR VACCINATIONS...!! So, the five of us are tip-toeing back into our normal TMBC life...hopefully...except it's gotta be lunch instead of breakfast...because I have a Keeper coming to the house...and I'm still new at this!!

For our first "back to normal" weekly -- we met up for TacoTuesday ($1 tacos!! Brilliant, eh?)...and, since it's kinda in the parking lot of the Bettendorf Suites --(where LP and I will be moving in the Fall) -- we took the girls up for a little "tour".

I was packing my Friendship Quilt -- so everybody could get a closer look...

Me, Linda K., Jackie, Sandy and Linda P. -- in the demo kitchen of the Bettendorf Suites.

They got to see where their blocks ended up...

My sister Deena did a Farm block...and she put the quilt together.

Sandy made the perfect sewing machine block...(we ALL have Featherweights)

Rhonda Pierce made a t-shirt block...can you see the word "Ritaluck"

OH, YES, it was so good to get together. We've missed us...