The Final Countdown...

HOW IS IT NOVEMBER ALREADY??

Our time is running out in this house. And as the days get SHORTER -- and the weather gets COLDER -- I feel a big pressure to make every day here count.

So, this summer and fall -- I've had many porch parties.  Every Monday, when Carrie comes, she asks "who's coming this week?" 

The final TMBC porch party was bittersweet.  And when the MDF girls came for our last porch hurrah, I showed them the floor plan of our new home. 

When the TMBC came in September -- I made Popovers...

John's Navy buddy from Chicago came for a day (with doughnuts)

Linda and Jackie came for the Frankenchair unveiling.

It was too cold to eat out on the porch for my last sister's dinner...

After we ate, we went to the basement so they could get a preview of some of my new decor.

I rarely cook a meal for myself and John anymore.  So, I enjoy planning a menu when somebody is coming over.  When Jackie and Linda came for the Franchair-swivel-chair Reveal...I bought pizza... 

I've been having my sisters over for supper once a month or so.  Last week, when Deb was in town (from Tennessee),  I cooked a homemade chicken pot pie for that special occasion.,,,with a Butterfinger Pie for dessert (you ARE gonna want that recipe).

Every Sunday, I write a journal entry to myself...well -- more about that coming up, I think.

Big Crappy Jobs are Satisfying

Okay -- so here's the surprise. I FEEL GREAT. Honestly...as we get to the final count-down of moving out of our beloved home of 40 years -- I feel like I'm at the top of my game.  Of course, I have my sad moments -- but I've mostly stopped crying myself to sleep every night.  I've accepted John's Alzheimer's and my role as his caregiver.  

And I know it's time to leave our country home...

Mostly, I am looking forward to this move.  (Now actually scheduled for January 15th.)  I am THRILLED to be moving into a beautiful, comfortable new home with underground parking, maintenance inside and out, surrounded by new friends who are in a similar place in their lives.

Of course, a major move like this doesn't just happen.  This option is only available to us because John was such a good provider -- and I tell him that all the time.  If I had been in charge of the family finances -- we'd spend our final years in the back of my old 1992 Pontiac Transport van, parked down by the river.  John didn't miss a day of work at John Deere for 30 years.  He picked up every hour of overtime he was offered -- and he always contributed the max to his 401. 

AND he used to make meatballs!!

So, now, it's my turn to take care of John...

I am SO GRATEFUL to be healthy enough to be able to even tackle this job.  I'm 72 years old, and I am well aware that life changes from one minute to the next.  One fall down the stairs would put me out of commission.  Many of my friends are dealing with serious health issues...arthritis, Parkinson's, cancer. When life deals you a hand like that -- cleaning out closets drops WAY down on your to-do list.... 

My observation is that life is mostly about the luck of the draw -- I especially feel that way about both husbands and good health. 

I married John when I was 21 years old and I had no idea who I WAS -- much less who he was, or what we might become as a couple.  Instead of being a good provider, he could just as easily have turned out to be an unemployed warehouse worker with a drinking problem.

But it is what it is.  And I've been lucky...very, very lucky.

WHICH YOU ALL KNOW ONLY SO WELL...I credit most of the good things in my life to Ritaluck.  And I am grateful.

But what I've learned lately is that there is HUGE satisfaction in accomplishing the Big Crappy Jobs.  And I'm going to try to remember that feeling because the BCJs just keep coming...

When I look back on the last two years, I can't believe everything I've done....but it really does feel like I'm living out another one of those old cliches ..

 HOW DO YOU EAT AN ELEPHANT?

 

Accomplishing The Crappy Jobs

So -- here are some BEFORE and AFTER pictures of the garage. There's no way I could have done this job without A LOT OF HELP. Calvin and Jeanne spent many hours sorting and making PILES of various things. Stuff that would burn...stuff that has to be taken to the hazardous waste...stuff that could be salvaged, given away or sold. Well -- you get the idea.

Then, of course, I called in the BIG GUNS...1-800-GOT JUNK...to haul away most of it.

By the time I got seriously involved -- all the heavy lifting was done. Everybody was invited to come take a look at what's left -- and PLEASE TAKE whatever you'd like. Our sons got first crack at it, of course. Then, on a "Don Day" -- I invited my sisters' husbands to come over and see if there was anything they could use. Calvin was in charge or arbitration...(Dean got the trapping stuff, Ned got the fence posts, etc.).

My job was to shovel and sweep out the final detritus.

So -- an area that once looked like THIS...

Now looks like THIS...

This meat saw was more or less rusted in place...like everything else in the garage.!

This is the same space -- minus the meat saw and about a ton of other trash...

Honestly...you could not walk in the garage, much less PARK A CAR.

Yes...this is the same space...

Tomorrow -- some reflections on these big crappy jobs. (BCJs)

Doing the Crappy Jobs...

Right now, it seems like each and every week, there's a new challenge. Which, when I think about it, isn't really very different from what was happening before Alzheimer's. Maybe that's just life...

The big difference is that I used to have challenges I actually ENJOYED. Working on a new seminar topic, painting a suitcase I found at a thrift store, planning a girls' trip to New York City, sewing a few criss-cross aprons, or mapping out the next Grandma Camp activity.

Those were the days, eh?

In my new AA life (After Alzheimer's) -- the challenges are things I would never have voluntarily done before.  Some things I actually HATE..... Dealing with all the finances...lawn work....cleaning the basement...getting rid of my Art of Homemaking collection...giving John his insulin injections every single night...signing him up for his VA benefits....buying a new house...driving to Pennsylvania...and a lot of other stuff you really don't want to hear about.

Last week, the challenge in front of me was clearing out the garage...

Oh, yes. IT WAS TIME TO CLEAR OUT JOHN'S GARAGE. This is gonna be painful on sooo many levels. First of all -- he gets very agitated when he sees anything go out the door. Cal said it's because John thinks I am "getting rid of his stuff". I laughed and said, "Which is exactly what I'm doing!!"

Anyway -- it's time. Here are some BEFORE pictures...

The complete chaos inside John's garage is a perfect metaphor for what's been happening in his brain for the last coupla years...

Looking at the rotted, rusted, chaotic mess inside his garage -- I realized John's brain has probably been failing him for a very long time. 

What's Mary Been Doin??

 Mary Mulari has been very busy during the pandemic.

For one thing -- her husband Doug was elected Mayor of Aurora -- so Mary is the First Lady of Aurora. I'm not sure what those duties entail...but I'm sure she is rockin' that job...

Mary developed a new apron pattern -- WITH a crossover back option -- AND a facemask pattern

During the pandemic, Mary developed a special felt sewing project which was distributed by her Minnesota library system. It was such a wild success, they asked for to create another sewing project -- and she came up with a three-button felt bowl.  Here's her latest project: https://www.alslib.info/three-button-bowl-take-and-make-legacy-kits-november-1-31-2021/

Be sure you watch the video!! GREAT job Mary...

Missing My Mary Mo-Jo...

One of the things I missed the most during the pandemic was VISITING WITH MY SEWING FRIENDS in person.

The luxury of having AN ENTIRE WEEK to spend with friends??....little did we know, eh?

During our Ya Ya heyday -- I saw Mary Mulari maybe ten times a year.  

We traveled, we developed seminars, books, embroidery CD;s...

We took pride in our Quick Gift outlook on life...and, I'd just like to say, for the record -- WE WERE HAVING JUST AS MUCH FUN AS IT LOOKED LIKE.  

Her annual visits to Iowa were always a highlight of my year...

 Then -- BOOM -- Covid blew up our world. (The Alzheimer's bomb didn't help much, either). Maybe the silver lining is that I am SO APPRECIATIVE now of many things I took for granted.

Our weekend in Beaver Dam for the Grand Opening of the Nancy Zieman Sewing Studio was the first time I saw Mary in almost two years. 

Tomorrow -- a little update about what Mary's been doing to keep herself busy!!

Don, John and the Righteous Brothers

Every Tuesday and Thursday, John goes out for breakfast with his friend Don -- and they often go for a drive, or back to Don's house to sing Karaoke. Don has been taking John out two days a week for months...he started doing it last winter.

Here's the thing. The VA approved John for 11 hours a week for a "home health aide" -- but John could not bond with the young women the agency sent (all with a cellphone appendage). It's a long story -- but let's just say that plan did not work out.

After John got home from Memory Care, I stopped trying with the agency. Luckily -- all summer -- Don came every Tuesday and Thursday. Like clockwork. And John LIVES for his "Don Days".

Then, it dawned on me that the agency SHOULD HIRE DON to be John's "home health aide"...!!

So, now, Don (81 years young) gets paid $15 an hour for 11 hours a week. And I officially have TWO WHOLE DAYS OFF. Don picks John up at 9:00, and brings him home sometime after 3:00.....Don lives a very musical life -- he has 125,000 karaoke songs on his laptop. And NOTHING COULD BE BETTER FOR JOHN than spending a whole day away from me -- singing songs he remembers.

Don and his wife Bernie -- at an outdoor concert...dancing...

John and Don at the concert (this is my only picture of them).

I am SO GRATEFUL that Sue encouraged me to sign up for John's VA benefits.  These 11 hours a week make all the difference in the world.  Did you know that the VA provides "durable goods" to ALL veterans -- regardless of their income or need. That means -- wheelchairs, walkers, hospital beds, Depends, etc.

John has no sense of time or days of the week.  Every single morning, the first thing he says when he gets out of bed is, "is anybody coming today?"  (he can't remember Don's name).  And I know exactly what he's thinking ...(please, please, please let this be a Don Day!)

HEY -- me, too, John...me, too....