Best Obituary EVER.

I don't know the proper way to do this -- so I'm printing some excerpts from the world's best obituary...And I'm so proud that it comes from Iowa.

Although, I'm sad that we never met...

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Tim Schrandt was born to William (Bill) Schrandt and Mary (Schrandt) Manning on June 11,1955 - 100 years too late. Given Tim's demeanor he would have been the perfect weathered cowboy in the old west or rough and tough pioneer, or maybe he just should have been Amish.

... Tim  was a great orator, (not like Shakespear, but more like Yogi Berra), as he always had something to say, and always had to get in the last word. ...

Tim's fondness for authority (his own - not others) followed him to South Winneshiek High School in Calmar and later into the Army. This provided for many interesting episodes and stories, detentions and demotions, and a few "run ins" with the law, not just locally, but globally.

Tim worked at Camcar/Stanley Black and Decker in Decorah as a tool and die maker for 30 plus years. Tim worked with many friends and “a bunch of morons”. His words, not ours. Well not exactly his, words because that would have included a bunch of swear words.

Tim leaves behind a hell of a lot of stuff that his family doesn't know what to do with. So, if you are looking for a Virgin Mary in a bathtub shrine (you Catholics know what we’re talking about) you should wait the appropriate amount of time and get in touch with them.

Tomorrow would be fine.

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Here's the link to the funeral home, where you can read the entire obituary.  It is the finest piece of writing I've ever read.  Really...Mark Twain would be proud.  You MUST read the final paragraph...

https://www.schluterbalikfuneralhome.com/obituary/tim-schrandt