Looking back at our 50 years together, our marriage has been all about parallel lives. John always had his own interests -- hunting, gardening, golfing, and butchering (just to name a few). And NONE of them included me. Actually, his activities didn't include other people at all. Friends were not important to John...I can count on one hand the number of guy friends who have ever phoned our home to talk to John.
We approached life with opposite points of view. And -- I was FINE WITH THAT.
Because my life has been enhanced and blessed with many wonderful friends. No matter where we lived, or what I was doing for a job, I always had daily contact with my sisters and friends. You might say I traveled with a tribe. And TRAVEL? I loved to travel -- and I was very, very luck to take many wonderful trips. I traveled with my friend Mary, Marion, and Rhonda, and with my sisters, and my cousins Jackie and Linda. OH, YEAH -- I loved to travel.
But, the truth is -- John was home pouting during every trip I ever took...
At some point -- many years ago -- I had to accept the fact that John was not happy. And it was not my job to make John happy.
Maybe that's always been the difference between us. I am a half-full kind of gal, and John is a half-empty guy through and through. And I know John would agree with this assessment.
He once told his mother, "The minute Rita meets somebody, she believes they will be her friend....and she is often disappointed. Me? I assume everybody is an asshole, and I let them work their way up. I am never disappointed..."
The really odd thing is that now -- in this new world we're living in -- John goes with me E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E...We go grocery shopping together. We go out for dinner with my sisters together. We go to doctor appointments together. Well -- you see where I'm going with this, right?
Yep. I was LONG OVERDUE for a pedicure. And John was just gonna have to suck it up...
Sounds like my Ron, too, although in recent years he has reconnected with some of his grade school friends, and now meets with them most Friday mornings. Sadly, because of their ages (88), there are probably only 3 or 4 of them left, but at one time, there were sometimes 10 or so enjoying and reminiscing together. I went to 2 or 3 of those get-togethers, but, you know, they are His friends, and so I decided this was His time. I have mine, he has his.
ReplyDeleteBut a pedicure? Nah, that would never fly at this house! LOL (Well, mainly because I never get them myself!!) How did John like his?
Oh -- He HATED IT. But, by the next day, he didn't remember it. And because he's diabetic, he needs to be careful about his feet -- and his big toenail was almost growing into the next toe...so he REALLY did need to have them trimmed. So I'm glad I took him.
Delete