John and Trick or Treaters

Because John always worked second shift, he NEVER, EVER had anything to do with Halloween, much less Trick or Treating.

I don’t think he ever saw the boys in their Halloween costumes.

Until the year Halloween fell on a Sunday, and John was home.  Alone.  Aye, yay yay…

Because, of course, I packed up the boys and our bags of candy and we went to Aunt Glad’s house in McCausland.  LIKE WE DID EVERY OTHER YEAR...

As near as I can remember, John was watching football when we left…

Aunt Glad was in her recliner, and we were just receiving our first trick or treaters when the phone rang. It was John (this was long before cellphones).

J: I'm getting trick or treaters. Where's all that candy? 
Me: (shocked, because I didn't realize our neighborhood had finally attracted trick or treaters!)   The candy is with us, because the boys are trick or treating here in McCausland. 
J: What am I supposed to do? 
Me: Turn out the porch light, and they’ll quit coming. 
J: I don’t want them to soap our windows. Don’t we have any candy in the house? 
Me: NO. I BROUGHT ALL THE CANDY TO AUNT GLAD’S HOUSE. If you want to give them something, go down to Casey’s to buy some candy.

I gave him two good options -- turn out the light or go buy candy. But, then -- at that moment -- he looked around and saw the bowl full of mixed nuts in the center of the kitchen table.

Really?

Yep -- that’s what he did. He started dropping a few walnuts or almonds or even Brazil nuts (all of them in their shells, of course) into the bags of incoming trick or treaters.

Three groups of kids had come up to the house, and he put nuts in their bags...John was very pleased with himself…and then this happened…

He was standing in the door when the last group of kids walked down the steps…another group was approaching.

As they passed on the sidewalk, John heard a boy in the first group say to the approaching group…

 “Don’t bother going up there. The asshole is giving away acorns…”

 *************

I haven’t thought about that incident in a long time OMG…writing it down just now sucked me right back to that night when I came home and John told me that story. He was SO PISSED OFF.

Honestly…I’m sitting here right now, AGAIN -- laughing so hard I have tears running down my cheeks… Since it’s Halloween week, I just had to share...

Many years later -- we get lots of Trick or Treaters, and John prepares little baggies loaded with snack sized candy bars...