Sandwich Loaf

The Sandwich Loaf: I’d ordered a loaf of Pullman Bread from HyVee. It was $5.99, and they made it on Saturday (because of the holiday). I put it in the freezer.

I spent three hours Monday afternoon making the three fillings:   ham salad, egg salad, and olive/cheese filling.

#1:  The traditional ham salad is, of course, made out of bologna. I used my food processor to chop the bologna, and added mayo and sweet pickles. 

#2:  For the egg salad, I used my Mom’s homemade mayonnaise.  It's a lot like the boiled bacon dressing the Pennsylvania Dutch made famous.  Very sweet/tart.

#3:  For the olive/cheese spread,  I used the recipe from Pioneer Woman, and it was PERFECT.   Here's the link to her recipe, which is excellent hot -- but also delicious as a cold spread.

For the “frosting” I put three bricks of cream cheese in my big stand mixer, and fluffed them up with some ranch dressing. It made a nice spreadable frosting.

Monday night, at about 10:00, I was ready to assemble my Sandwich Loaf. The bread was partially frozen when I cut off the crusts…and I think that helped to make the three horizontal cuts…altho it was nerve-wracking, and I was sorry I hadn’t bought an extra loaf, because if I messed it up, I had no Plan B…(and it had been heavily advertised as a menu-item.)  I have since learned that it would have been much easier if I'd used an electric knife.  (thanks, Nancy)...

I buttered each slice of bread (so the filling didn’t soak in and make the whole thing soggy)…and, one layer at a time, built the giant horizontal sandwich loaf tower. Mine went: Bread, olive/cheese spread, bread, ham salad, bread, egg salad, bread. Then, I frosted the whole shebang with the cream cheese frosting. It was hard to get the frosting to stick to the filling layers, so I decided to consider this my “skim coat”.

I put it in the frig to set up overnight -- and the next morning, I gave it a second finished layer of frosting and decorated it. OMG…IT WAS STUNNING. Absolutely stunning.

There’s a good chance it was the prettiest thing I have ever made. I know for sure it was the most time-consuming. AND it used up the most kitchen utensils, appliances, pans, dishes, etc. Every square inch of my previously-spotless-kitchen (Thank you, Carrie) was covered with things-that-needed-to-be-washed. AGAIN.

Here it is. The finished sandwich loaf....it's a work of art, right?

Honestly -- when I sliced this thing, I was THRILLED to see the ribbons of filling inside.

I mean -- PERFECTION.

In the interest of full disclosure -- I was exhausted...and I ran out of steam and little tiny slices of things...so, there WAS a backside to my Sandwich Loaf. (undecorated!)

On Monday night, when Ross got home from his second shift at the hospital, I was in the middle of assembling this whole thing. I explained how these things were popular in the 50's,  now only live on in the Iron Range.  I thought he was impressed with all the time and effort I'd put into it...but then, he said, "So, sandwich loaves are a lot like crocodiles."

I said, "huh?"

He replied, "crocodiles should have died out with dinosaurs, but nobody knows why that didn't happen."

Yep.  That's right.  Near as I can tell, Sandwich Loaf went extinct in the early 60's...it only lives on in the Iron Range of Minnesota.  Where, Nancy assures me, it is still available as a lunch special at several restaurants.  And I know for a fact that you can buy it in local grocery stores...