Val & Karaoke

In her normal life, one of Val's favorite activities is "Karaoke". She likes to go two nights a week to a local joint -- the "Hat". She considers it her weekly "gig". As you know, my friend Valerie recently spent several weeks in a nursing home, with her foot in a large cast, doing "rehab".

You cannot imagine how delighted she was when she saw "Karaoke night" on the nursing home calendar.

She invited me to come into the home on that night so I could see her perform. When I got there, she already had her playlist ready (six possible songs). We ate our KFC dinner -- then Val wheeled herself over to the mirror in her room so she could put her make-up on...



That's the moment I started to make fun of her. "Picking up a new man tonight? Cuz your odds are TERRIBLE. There are 40 women for every man..."

We were the first to arrive in the rec room. Before long -- two older-than-us-guys wheeled their bulky 1960's karaoke equipment into the room....

As they were setting up, Val (in her perfect make-up) started quizzing them.

"Where do you do Karaoke?"

Guy #1 said, "everywhere"...and continued his set-up work. (obviously thinking he could ignore her.)

Val pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and said, "do you have these songs?"

Guy #2 took the paper and asked, surprised "you have a playlist?"

Val said (again), "Where do you do Karaoke? And don't give me that "everywhere" garbage. Do you go to restaurants? Bars? Where?"

The two fellas exchanged a glance...then, sheepishly admit that "everywhere" meant other nursing homes and assisted living centers in the surrounding areas.

As this discussion is happening, the nurses are filling the audience with other wheelchair residents. The room is packed -- at least 20 people. Val is sure that the word is out. (that she will be singing tonight...)

With their set up complete -- they are discussing how they'll start. Apparently, nursing home karaoke is more like a "sing-a-long-with-Mitch". Guy #1 said he'd start with "When you're smiling"...and Guy #1 was picking his song...when Val said (anxious now -- and remember -- her make-up is perfect) "You're BOTH going to sing?"

Taken aback -- they told Valerie that they could do just one opening song. The good news was that they did have most of the songs on her list.

Reassured...and nearly ready now...she turned to me and said, "I need a glass of water".

Like any good roadie -- I went off to find my star her H2O...

The entire nursing staff was in a break room, enjoying their coffee break. I gingerly knocked on the door and said, "I'm sorry to interrupt...but could somebody help me get a bottle of water for Linda Rondstadt out here?"