All 10 designers made their pitch to Martine – she picked her five favorites, and they got to pick their teammate. The team leaders are in bold print...Here’s how it came down the runway:
Althea picks Logan. Their WAY TOO SHORT suit skirt didn’t seem to bother the judges. Neither did the 70’s peplum jacket we’ve seen a million times or the ill-fitting pants with the ugly low crotch. The judges also didn’t comment on the lackluster silky top with the gaping sleeves. As it turned, out, they were the only team dead in the middle – and I would have put them in the bottom.
Carol Hannah (does she have two first names or is she the only one who we refer to by her full given name?) picks Shirin. Their two looks were stellar. One was a day to night look, with a bright blue empire top with a drapy neckline and navy blue skirt. Their second look was a long tunic worn with leggings and a very wide black belt. Rossettes around the scoop neckline and ruffles off the shoulders instead of sleeves. They were the runner-up team.
Christopher picked Epperson. One of the two “lowest scores”. Their problem from the first moment was they believed their own press. They keep telling each other how wonderful they are, and how they speak some kind of secret ‘designer language”. Poor Epperson was just sooo happy not to be working with somebody named "Qristyl". Christopher and Epperson believed they could almost read each other’s minds, dontcha know?? After Tim’s evaluation, Christopher said “we reinvented the shirt dress”. Oh Oh…I sense trouble...They were completely over confident and full of themselves. After the runway -- the judges were merciless. The always fabulous snarky Michael Kors said the shirtdress looked like something a 1979 librarian would have worn – but the shiny fabric made it look like a tablecloth. He called the second look a “teal disco pumpkin ball”. (and they WONDER why we missed him??) Heidi weighed in with a “shower curtain nightie”comment. Ouch. Christopher was completely devastated. He was crying so hard he could not speak. Sobbing. His model tried to console him. It was awful. It was like watching Angelina Jolie being told she's not sultry. Donald Trump being told he's not rich. Christopher was crushed. He should have officially been put on suicide watch…it was hard to watch...
Irina picked Gordana – Irina clearly deserved the win because she created a fabulous striped fabric – with FRENCH SEAMS – ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Everybody loved the chevron stripes of her long floaty dress and the dark blue black halter top was a hit with the judges. But, alas, the girls didn’t get along. When talking about her partner, Gordana said “she could have thrown me on the bus”…?? It’s UNDER the bus, Gordana…UNDER is where you don’t want to be. “On the bus” is actually the goal…
Louise picked Nicholas. Don’t ask me why. His skills are marginal at best – and with immunity – I expected his effort would be minimal. And it proved to be less than that...The first thing he did was go to another designer (Althea) and start talking about Louise behind her back. HEY Nicholas – BUDDY – GET TO WORK!!! He hates ruffles…ruffles make him sick…ruffles are not his thing. YES, WE KNOW – NOW GET TO WORK!! When the dresses came down the runway, Heidi said, “who wears ruffles?” At the end of the show – Louise was Auf’d. But the best line of the night was when judging Louise’s ruffled dress, Michael Kors said, “it looks like a bridesmaid’s dress with a shower loofah rouched up the front of it.”
YES, YES, YES – MICHAEL IS BAAAAACK…! Like everybody else in PR world -- I am grateful… (now, if Nina Garcia would quit sending the revolving no-name staff of Marie Clare magazine...and DO IT HERSELF...)
As much as they ranted and raved about Irina’s winning dress – and I LOVED what she did to create her own striped fabric – did ya’ll see the “holiday dress” she supposedly designed for Macy’s? I was so disappointed when they showed a navy blue short side wrap dress with a butterfly motif at the waist? Huh?? It had absolutely no relevance to anything Irina did in this challenge. And the navy blue was sooo close to BLACK, I was wondering what the big deal was about the "blue" challenge? Macy’s could at least have gone with the essence of her winning dress…I mean -- otherwise -- what's the point? It just ends up being a big commercial for Macy's.
Hey --Wait a minute....
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And – yes – I did watch the Models show, pumpkin pie. (that guy single-handedly ruined Thanksgiving for me)…
I'm glad I wasn't the only one who hated the holiday dress. It looked cheap and something you could get at 5-7-9 (is that store still around?) Love your recaps. Always exactly what I am thinking but have no one to tell. :)
ReplyDeleteDear Sam,
ReplyDeleteTHANKS...I love, love, love writing the recaps -- and it is a joy for me to know somebody reads 'em!! THANKS for being there -- and hey -- START A BLOG...
best, Rita