Rita's New Job

I got to IKEA in time for lunch...and I told myself I had two hours to shop...

The first thing I did was PICK UP A MAP -- as there really are no employees to help you at IKEA.

I leisurely walked around both gigantic floors of interesting merchandise. (most of which, of course, I have no room for at this point in my life.)

When I found the fabric department, I took my coat off and settled in to choose my fabric. Their fabric is a lovely, home dec weight, and 54 inches wide...and only $4.99/yd!!. Mary had explained that at IKEA, it's all self-service...

NO PROBLEM -- I HAVE LOTS OF EXPERIENCE!!

The fabric is hanging, with the numbers and prices on end tags...

 But the bolts of fabric that you should "cut" are on the racks below the hanging fabric...

WHAT IS IT ABOUT BUYING FABRIC THAT BRINGS SUCH JOY TO A WOMAN'S LIFE??

Once I got behind that cutting table, I took off my coat and made myself comfortable...

I took some time to see how their "system" worked. Mary warned me that if I didn't have the right information on my "tickets" there would be a delay at the register...

As I settled into my task to consider the wonderful fabric options -- a woman came over and asked, "do you know where I can find a match to this bedspread?"

I said, “Sorry -- I’m just a customer”.

She was annoyed...and kind of went off in a huff...

Hummm....since I had a map, and I'd been inside the store for at least 40 minutes -- I decided it would be more helpful if I just answered their questions....

So, with a smile on my face, I embraced this new mission...and, with my map in hand...

”follow the arrows, and you’ll get back to the food court...”

"Go about another 25 feet, and there is a shortcut over to the Rest Rooms."

“The pots and pans are down on the first floor...take the escalator down and go to your right...”

Hummm. I had almost forgotten how much fun it is to work with the public...

Even though I was now acting like a valued IKEA employee (yes -- THERE'S THE SARCASM) -- I didn't lose sight of my task at hand...

This great stripe was ON SALE FOR $2.99/yd.

love it, love it...

This pattern was a real contender...

But then, I saw this new bolt.

Since, right now, I'm having a love affair with circles...

At the end of my time as the manager of the IKEA fabric department, I probably gave about as many wrong answers as right answers...(it's possible I needed more training)...but the most important thing is -- I bought THREE FABULOUS PIECES OF FABRIC...

So now I have to decide who's worthy of a Mary Mulari Criss-Cross apron...??